CDC Issues Alert
December 9, 2009

A Yule-time plague is sweeping through the U.S this holiday season, infecting communities coast to coast. The CDC has confirmed cases in every state, from New York to California.

Inflatus Lacktus spreads fast. Your neighbors may have already contracted it; your household could be next. Citizens are asked to stay alert and take all necessary precautions.

Symptoms to watch for include listlessness, a sunken appearance, and loss of resilience. In advanced cases, the afflicted one has a flat, lifeless appearance and is unable to stand.

The CDC recommends the following treatment for Inflatus Lacktus:
Administer PPR* to the victim and re-apply at the first sign of symptoms returning.

- Christmas Decoration Committee
* Pump-to-Plastic Resuscitation. See CDC pub. #25 for more info.